Churches need to be more aware of the presence of children living in care, members of the Children’s Ministry Network (CMN) were told at their annual conference in November.
Members were told that, “realistically, most churches will have someone with personal or close connection to current or historic experience of being part of families that include fostered or adopted children”.
The UK government says that 105 children enter the care system every day. Out of the nearly 12 million children living in England alone, just over 400,000 (3%) are in the social care system at any one time. Nearly 84,000 of these children are in care.
This may mean living in a children’s home or residential special school, but is more likely to mean living with a foster or adopting family.
“That’s often where churches can play an important role,” says Dr Sam Richards, the URC’s Head of Children’s, Youth and Intergenerational Discipleship, and currently CMN Secretary. “Understanding attachment and trauma are the essential foundations for supporting foster and adoptive families. The development of a secure attachment between these children and their primary caregiver is the most important thing for their future security, and churches need to actively support this through their practice.”
Children in care, often referred to as ‘looked after’ children, have experienced trauma and many are neurodiverse. Play therapists Joy Cheang and Rosie Jefferson told the CMN conference that childhood trauma has lasting impact on behaviour, relationships, emotions, learning, focus, and long-term future outcomes. Exploring with parents and carers what each child needs to feel safe in any given context will help, and also being aware of their stress responses.
“Always remember that we do not know the child’s story,” Joy and Rosie said. “We need to ask open questions to find out how we can make church and church activities accessible for each child, and what it would be helpful for us to know as we seek to serve them.”
Local churches can offer support to ‘looked after’ children in a wide range of ways, Sam says: “through training and sermons that grow whole congregation awareness and understanding; by giving practical support such as meals, vouchers for days out with children, or self-care for parents; and by adjusting language to reflect that not all families are biological”. Above all, she said local congregations can remember looked after children in prayer and be open to adjusting and changing how they do church.
“Churches can be a key part of ‘the village’ supporting families raising fostered and adopted children,” she said.
Children’s Ministry Network is a network of Churches Together in Britain and Ireland (www.childrensministrynetwork.org).
For information on the support churches can offer looked after children and their families, see Home for Good (www.homeforgood.org.uk), Transforming Lives for Good (www.tlg.org.uk/your-church), and Trauma Informed Churches (www.traumainformedchurches.org).